i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize