Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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