As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She bit a glass in half.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
