Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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