I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize