yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
