Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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