i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
