looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
