This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Duck Duck Cougar?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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