So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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