did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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