Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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