what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
