how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
