God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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