I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We have started to decorate penises.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
