I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
