But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
