stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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