pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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