Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
