Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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