I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
