i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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