It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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