There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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