wakey wakey hands off snakey
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just blew my weed a kiss
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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