I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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