How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize