I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
