i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
