My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
