Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
wanna go halves on a baby?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
