the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
