Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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