Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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