dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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