Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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