Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
