he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
