dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
