You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
