If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
