We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
