she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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