Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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