my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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