Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
