im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's always time for handjobs
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
