i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I understand Curling. That high.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
