i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
