If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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