Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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