I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
