we have pet lesbian snakes
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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