It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
