They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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