Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
