Heybabeimwearingurpanties
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
